By Heather Cherry—

Have you ever been turned off by a brand (or person) over-promoting themselves? If so, you know what it's like for a product (or service) to be pushed on you. Thanks to social media, self-promotion reaches a whole new level—highlight reels of success, generic messaging, and countless sales pitches find their way into your direct messages. 

There is a difference between selling yourself—a form of marketing and vital to business operations—and being a sellout. You can stand out from the crowd and make a difference with your brand. The answer is authenticity. It’s not about making a name for yourself, but making yourself a name. 

What Does It Mean To Sell Out? 

"Selling out" is the act of compromising your integrity, morality, or principles in exchange for personal gains—in most cases, money. Selling out is more like trading your beliefs in exchange for an immediate sale or advantage. 

When you sell yourself out, it means you don't stick with your brand values, or you're compromising your integrity for a quick gain. 

Goals Of Promoting Yourself

Think of self-promotion in terms of strategic visibility. You must be intentional with how you publicize your skills and talents, what you share and how you communicate. Creating visibility in a credible, consistent, and sincere way helps you capitalize on your accomplishments appealingly. Here are three tips for selling yourself without being a sellout. 

Tip #1—Get Vulnerable 

When you're selling something—especially yourself—you're asking your prospect to exchange something of value (like time or money). In some cases, you're asking them to make a "change" and may spotlight inadequacies—which may make them hesitant. 

Don't think about getting vulnerable in terms of weakness, but more about awareness—that is what gives you the ability to influence and make change without "selling" yourself. 

Focus on forming connections. Vulnerability helps you show up authentically—enabling you to be genuine and honest in your approach. Decide how you want to show up authentically in all your actions, no matter where you're selling yourself. 

To get in touch with your vulnerability, ask yourself these questions.

• What do I need to feel the most vulnerable? 
• What am I willing to expose to make a connection with others? 
• Am I willing to express what I feel and think? 
• How do my values align with who I'm trying to sell?

Think of the show Shark Tank. Entrepreneurs from across the globe come to showcase their products to Shark Tank Investors. All of them have stories about their journey—most get emotional as they pitch their products. The act of showing emotion supports their case, makes a connection, and sparks interest. 

Emotion-related messages are everywhere. Commercials show happy families coming together over a product—the more emotional the story, the more engaged the audience. That’s because everyone wants to feel something. 

Think of it this way. What were your favorite brands growing up? How did they make you feel? Every product has a promise—decide what you promise others with your story. It can be an idea, a solution, a dream—but think beyond your qualifications because it’s more about what you stand for.

Tip #2—Face Your Fears 

Fears of all kinds are crippling and often keep you from submitting for the promotion or maybe even finding something that would bring you joy. If fears aren't dealt with, you can manifest them into reality. When you feel fear related to selling yourself, the thing to do is think about the situation objectively and examine reality.

It is scary (and uncomfortable) to put yourself out there. People are conditioned to be modest—taught not to boast—in hopes of avoiding rejection. Everyone experiences discomfort promoting themselves and maybe even unsurmountable self-doubt.   

These feelings may be combined with some fear, whether it's a fear of rejection, failure, public speaking, and in some instances, success. When it comes to worries around selling (even yourself), it is primarily a mindset. 

The ability to face your fears is an essential part of selling yourself. If you can overcome your fears—especially if they're fears of failure or rejection—it will help you continue putting your best foot forward in any situation requiring you to sell yourself. 

To overcome fear, focus on these three easy steps to get started. 

• Step 1—Identify your fears and pinpoint where they began. 
• Step 2—Look at them objectively to determine if they warrant any more space in your life. Is this fear a direct result of something happening, or is it because of something you are worried about happening? 
• Step 3—Take action against your fears. Decide how far you will let your worries make decisions about your life. Will you fight back against your anxiety, or will you let it take control?

Real success is not about what other people see. Get outside your comfort zone. Share your fears and your vulnerabilities. That’s how you don’t sell out.

Tip #3—Promote Your Value 

There's no doubt, selling yourself is just promoting your value to a prospect—whether it's a potential client, job, or consideration for a promotion. It may require you to disclose your awards and achievements, but throwing it all out there at once can seem like you're bragging. Instead, think of "selling yourself" as helping people understand your value. Decide what you bring to the table and how that can help them reach their goals. 

The Pampers diaper commercial: “Stinky Booty Duty,” featuring John Legend is effective because it shows his vulnerability as a man, but also the value of Pampers diapers. As he calls in for backup from a group of singing dads (including Adam Levine), he successfully destigmatized diaper duty related to fatherhood. 

Create aspects of your brand to promote your value.

1. Emotional pull: move people with your brand story and vision.
2. Find a hero (or become the hero) of your story: understand and portray your value to your audience.
3. Never stop innovating: your product and its promotion will change—but your values never should. That’s what speaks to your character. 
4. Improve lives: your product, business, and brand serve a purpose. Always direct it back to your audience, rather than self-serving—show them how you’re helping them. 
5. Partner with brands that share your values: you are who you surround yourself with—connect with those that share similar goals.

People will receive what you're selling if they believe you are the right solution for their problem. 

But before your audience can see your value, you need to understand them—what they want, need, or desire. Be mindful of whether or not what you're sharing is relevant. Build a rapport—and be sure to listen actively. 

Heather Cherry is a Marketing Copywriter. Her specialty is authentic storytelling. She self-published, Market Your A$$ Off. She holds a master's degree in Professional Writing from Chatham University.

Follow me on LinkedIn. Check out my website.